A night in the life of a copywriter

11:01 pm
All the lines got bombed! I am angry. And hungry.

11:07 pm
Dinner is on the way, so the Ice ‘n’ Spice guy says. But it’s been half past an hour since I’ve placed the ordered. The small red light inside my head blinks with much effort, accompanied by beeps, to let me know it’s going to run out of power, at any moment.

11:12 pm
Hey! It’s an idea that just went past me. Right? Or was it just a hallucination? No! It was! Yes! Yahooo!!! But it doesn’t look good. Anyway write it down. A line that sounds great!

11:13 pm
I write it down. No it doesn’t sound great. Still I try to make myself believe that I have a good line. At the heart of hearts I know it’s not.

11: 15 pm
I hate the product I am advertising. As much as the Ice ‘n’ Spice guy who lies to me.

11:25 pm
I hear a feeble footstep downstairs. Is it the Ice ‘n’ Spice guy? No. But that’s not the worse part. It’s the servicing guy!

11:32 pm
Ah! The Ice ‘n’ Spice guy arrives. Cheesy pasta with veg-sauce. French fries. And a Red Bull. A slight ray of hope for my tummy.

11:49 pm
The slight ray obscures as I realize he hasn’t kept the Red Bull I had ordered in the pack. I am thirsty! And angry! Back to ground zero.

11: 50 pm
Again with pen and paper. Now I can’t have an excuse. I had my food. I have to write lines! Or something.

12:01 am
Beep, Beep! Beep Beep! SMS from friend. “ Dude you missed it! The movie was amazing!”
Oops! Tomorrow is Friday. Movie’s gonna change! The movie I had been yearning to watch from the day it was premiered. The hatred for the product I am working for becomes a bit more intense.

12:27 am
Beep, Beep! Beep Beep! Yet another message, from CD.” Any luck with the lines?”


12:28 am
Now no chance! I have to do it somehow!

12:55 am
“Buy it!” Chi, crap!
“Nothing else will do.” Thoo, Scorpio’s line!
“Like nothing else.” Che, Sony!.
“Like no one else.” Someone else says it.

12: 56 am
Hey, if they can copy, why can’t I?


01:15 am
“Powerful and…
“The time of…
“Get one and…

01:17 am
Uuhum! Nothing works.

01:25 am
Beep, Beep! No, I am not even hearing the second beep. I can’t take another SMS from CD. Anyhow, I read it. “Send whatever you have.”

01:27 am
Sending the lines I have got.

01: 31 am
Beep, Beep! Beep, Beep! Reply from CD. “Can you give it another shot?”

01: 35 am
Eyes are feeling heavy. Anyway I crumble the paper and throw it into the trash. No! I am not satisfied. I take it out, tear it into two. No! I am not happy! I offer my lines to the paper shredder.

01: 37 am
Now what? Completely new lines! Ah! From where?

01: 42 am
Nothing!

01: 48 am
Nothing!

02:10 am
Beep, Beep! Beep, Beep! CD? No my girl! “I tht atlst u wud b d lst person to wish me on my bday! And pls don’t call me up! Am hitting the sack!”


Shit! Shit! I mean Shitttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt! It’s 7th. How? How could I forget?



02:11 am
I call her, but in vain!

02:15 am
I call her again. But in vain, again! I don’t want to write anymore lines. My girl….I hate the brand.


02: 16 am
Irony! When you decide not to think, a line strikes! I think I’ve got a line. But no use. It doesn’t sound good.

02: 18 am
I am not feeling good. I need to turn off the AC. Blame it on the global warming; my colleagues don’t want to turn it off.

02:20 am
I can’t stand the cold anymore. I am chilling. I am not well for sure!

02:25 am
Attack of the fever!

02:35 am
God, give me some lines! As if God is an ex-copywriter!

02: 49 am
Hungry!

03:03 am
Still hungry!

03:15 am
What? Once hungry, always hungry. I mean till you get food tomorrow morning. What have I done to this brand to make my life so miserable?


03 25 am
I get a line. It works! So I think! I write it down.

03:40 am
Nothing else comes to mind. How can I send an SMS without an option for the line? But then something is better than nothing.

03:55 am
Sending the only line to the CD.


04:01 am
Beep, Beep! Beep, Beep, Beep! Line gets approved!

And the brand that put me through my worst times, that made me miss my favourite movie forever, that put my relation on standby, that took my health off, gets a brand new line that defines it. I look on to my paper. There it lies!

“Life’s good!”

Note: I dedicate this article to my colleagues around the world who have suffered, sacrificed and died in the process of writing lines like:

“Life is busy. Acer makes it easy”
“The good times”
“That was easy”
“As easy as it can get”


Disclaimer: ‘I’ denote not the writer.